Great news for humanity, the Indian Government has a new space program. They have earmarked £45 million for this. This seems quite reasonable since whoever it is who is building the high speed rail link from London to Yorkshire wants £45 billion to do so. This begs two questions. Do the Indians really need to explore space, and, aren’t we being rather over charged for our rail services?
There’s been a bit of a ding-dong about the first question. Does India really need to explore space? Some people are unsure whether we should be sending their government millions in charity and aid, when they have 45 million spare to muck about on the moon. Personally this seems to be a perfectly reasonable statement.
Come on, it’s not rocket science is it?
Let’s be honest, the original space-program, beginning in the late 50’s was never about furthering the plight of humans on this little rock in the corner of this massive universe. It was really just a preposterously expensive political football between America and the former USSR. A PR exercise. Two super- powers essentially shouting ‘my dad’s bigger than your dad’ at each other. Or words to that effect! The Americans won, because they had stolen all the ex-Nazi rocket scientists at the end of the war and employed them at NASA. It’s hardly humanities greatest achievement. It’s all rather unseemly.
“Oh but Markus, so many inventions have come out of this scientific exploration. “
No they haven’t. At least, nothing that isn’t useful to the military and the arms dealers. Oh my apologies, there was pritt-stick. So trillions and trillions of dollars and we have pritt-stick. Well that should help glue back humanity so that we may now live in peace and harmony. Thanks NASA. God bless America! Yee ha!
Trillions of dollars spent, so our keenest minds, could shoot our bravest souls out into space over the last 50 years. And do you know what they’ve actually discovered? They have discovered three things. 1. Mars isn’t as hot as you thought it was. (like some planetary Britney Spears). 2. A dog cannot land a spaceship. 3. In space, all astronauts have a permanent erection! I promise you this is a fact. It’s not an erotic thing. It’s a weightless and confused human plumbing thing! Obviously only the men suffer this ignominy. Well perhaps some of those female Russians too!
In fairness there are some advantages to the last one. Finally somewhere to hang your coat in a busy pub. But imagine what else could have been achieved with all that money and all that science? I wish the Indian government would ask themselves that. It’s not like the place doesn’t have an issue or two to resolve after all.
That’s not rocket science either.
I sponsor a nine-year-old child in India. Her name is Ekta. She lives in a metal hut next to a rubbish dump in Calcutta. I’m not so naïve or arrogant to think this will solve her problems. But I do hope she will get a little education and a decent amount to eat. That’s the plan according to the very worthy charity that enlisted my help. Ekta is the same age as my daughter and I thought this would be a good thing for both of them. Ekta could get our money, and my daughter could get the idea that there are some people who are way less fortunate than her. Job’s a good’un.
And I’m happy to help. But I do feel a bit less inclined to do so, when the people in charge of her country seem to care more about trying to kick it on the world stage with the big boys, than feeding Ekta. It’s a funny old world. And I’d laugh more if I felt that those in charge, the ones who make the important decisions, that effect normal people’s lives, actually gave a flying fig about those people.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely anti space exploration. Perhaps it’s not all in the name of weaponry and perhaps a little bit of it does show humanities optimism. Perhaps there are those in charge who do wish to explore the universe in the hope that one day we’ll discover a superior race that can teach us to live in peace and harmony, to clear up disease and wars and poverty. Of course there are. I just hope it isn’t a British exploration that finds them first. Because we would still expect them to speak English.
“DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?…..ENGLISH?……er Houston, This green fellow is a buffoon, let’s help ourselves to all his stuff.”