The Wonderful World of Markus Birdman

Dubai has been lent a few bob to see it through some choppy fiscal waters, thank the lord. Well thank Abu Dhabi. It would be a shame if this Cathedral to Capitalism sunk into the desert as some seem to want. Because where else are you going to go when you want to [...]

Verne Prison, Dorset.(where my father once worked as a chaplain!) – A prisoner, Mohamed Jalloh, convinced guards his marijuana plants were tomato plants and they even allowed him to decorate one as a Christmas tree!

He was caught out after another inmate told guards what they really were, (surely the definition of grassing someone [...]

I see Swindon has just been twinned with Disneyworld. What’s it ever done to deserve that? And since when did Disneyworld become a real place to be twinned with anywhere? Next up, Norwich twinned with Narnia? There’s already too much Disneyfication as it is.
(definition-Disneyfication; making the world beige with saccharin platitudes)
And I should [...]

I don’t wish to pooh-pooh progress or some of the wonderful technology we now have at our disposal, but I’m slightly alarmed by certain websites.(no not those ones!) I refer to websites for people who I can’t imagine ever needing them. For instance, has anyone ever contacted Hovis via their website? ; or indeed any [...]

The Copenhagen Climate talks have started, which will probably produce more unwanted hot-air . They’ve started because we’ve knackered the weather. Even George Bush agreed we’ve knackered the weather. THAT’S HOW KNACKERED THE WEATHER IS! There are some people who deny we’ve knackered the weather, but one of them happens to be BNP leader [...]

Just back from South Africa. Great place if you enjoy wide open spaces, violent crime and racial prejudice. It’s like Scotland but with better weather. I have a routine that involves goose-stepping (trust me it’s hilarious!). couldn’t do it there, people joined in.
Went to Soweto, to Nelson Mandela’s old house. Very depressing, not least because [...]